Owning my Extra...

For the longest time, I’ve been told I’m “extra.” Too much. Too intense. Too emotional. Too driven. I’ve heard it all, and for years, I thought if I could just tone it down, fit in, and be more “normal,” life would somehow become easier. But trying to tone down who I am is like trying to press mute on my own existence. The more I tried to dim my light, the more I felt lost, like I was disappearing from my own life. It’s taken me a long time, but I’m finally learning to own my “extra” and embrace it as a fundamental part of who I am, not something to apologize for.

Growing up, I was always the one who felt everything deeply, who cared too much, and who seemed to live at a higher volume than those around me. I’d get excited about ideas, dive headfirst into projects, and wear my heart on my sleeve with no filter. But instead of being celebrated for my passion, I was told to calm down, to be less, to shrink so I wouldn’t overwhelm others. And for a long time, I believed them—because apparently, my enthusiasm was too much for the delicate sensibilities of those around me.

So, I tried to be less. I held back my enthusiasm, swallowed my emotions, and tried to blend in. I’d catch myself before speaking too passionately, dismiss my own ideas as if they didn’t really matter, and pretend that things didn’t affect me as much as they did. But every time I did that, I felt a part of myself slipping away. I was giving up the best parts of who I am just to fit into a mold that wasn’t made for me—like trying to fit into a pair of shoes that’s two sizes too small and then blaming my feet for not being the right size.

It wasn’t until I began questioning why I was so afraid of being “extra” that I realized the problem wasn’t me. The problem was this narrow definition of what’s acceptable, of what it means to be “just right.” I began to see that my intensity, my passion, my drive—these are the things that make me who I am. They’re the fuel behind my creativity, the energy that pushes me to explore, to create, to connect. And by trying to mute those parts of myself, I was cutting off my own power source.

So, I stopped apologizing for being “extra” and started embracing it instead. I stopped trying to fit into the box that others had made for me and began living in a way that felt true to myself. I allowed myself to be excited, to be passionate, to feel deeply—without shame, without hesitation. I leaned into my intensity, recognizing it as a strength, not a flaw.

Being “extra” isn’t about being over the top or dramatic; it’s about being fully myself in a world that often asks us to be less. It’s about showing up with all my passion, all my emotions, all my drive, and refusing to apologize for the space I take up. If I’m too much for some people, that’s okay. I’m learning that I’m just right for the life I’m building, and that’s more than enough.