To Clarify, not Condescend...

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on how I interact with the world, particularly when it comes to pointing out factual information. For me, facts are just that—facts. They’re not loaded with any hidden intentions or emotions; they simply exist as truths that help make sense of the world around me. But as I’ve learned, not everyone shares this perspective. What seems like a straightforward correction to me can be perceived as rudeness or insensitivity by others.

Here’s a recent example that’s been on my mind. I was at a family gathering, and my cousin was talking excitedly about a new movie she’d just seen. She mentioned a specific historical event portrayed in the film, describing it in detail. The problem was, the event she was talking about didn’t happen the way she described it. In fact, it was off by a significant margin. Without thinking twice, I corrected her, “Actually, that’s not how it happened. The real event was quite different.”

I wasn’t trying to be dismissive or rude. I thought I was contributing to the conversation by providing accurate information. But almost immediately, the mood shifted. My cousin looked hurt, and someone else chimed in with, “No need to be a know-it-all.” I was taken aback because that wasn’t my intention at all. I just wanted to set the record straight.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been called “rude” for pointing out factual information. My intention was simple—I wanted to clarify a mistake and keep the conversation accurate. If I’d made a similar error, I’d want someone to do the same for me. But instead of being met with appreciation, I was met with criticism. It’s a pattern I’ve encountered more times than I can count.

Why is it that in so many social situations, pointing out the truth is considered rude? Why is it more acceptable to let someone continue with incorrect information rather than simply correct them? I’ve never understood why factual accuracy is seen as inappropriate, even when it’s done with the best intentions. It’s a question that has puzzled me for as long as I can remember.

Throughout my life, I’ve been yelled at, criticized, and labeled as “rude” or “malicious” simply for stating facts. To others, it seems like I’m trying to cause trouble or embarrass them. But from my perspective, I’m just making conversation, trying to engage with the world around me by contributing what I know to be true.

I’ve always struggled with the idea that the truth can be offensive. Even as I’ve gotten older, I still don’t fully understand why some truths are never meant to be spoken aloud, even though everyone in the room is aware of them. It’s a part of neurotypical society that remains a mystery to me, a social norm that I just can’t seem to wrap my head around.

This confusion has left its mark on me, contributing to the PTSD I carry. Each time I point out a fact, there’s no malice behind it—just a desire to clarify or correct something. Yet, I’ve faced anger and rejection time and time again, simply for being honest. It’s frustrating, to say the least, and it’s something that has made me question my place in social settings more often than I’d like to admit.

Over time, I’ve come to accept that my brain is wired differently. Where others see rudeness, I see an opportunity to help or improve a situation. It’s taken me years to understand that these differences in perception can cause misunderstandings, but that doesn’t make the truth any less valuable to me. I’m learning to navigate these waters more carefully, trying to find a balance between being true to myself and avoiding unnecessary conflict.

But even as I try to adapt, I can’t help but wonder why the truth is so often unwelcome. Why is it that being honest—pointing out something that’s factually incorrect or misleading—is seen as a social faux pas? It’s a question that continues to linger in my mind, a puzzle I’m still trying to solve.

For now, I’m trying to embrace the idea that facts aren’t rude—they’re just facts. And while I might not always get it right, I know that my intention is never to hurt, only to clarify. Maybe that’s enough for now.

Key Takeaways:

1. Facts Are Just Facts: For me, pointing out factual information is about clarity, not criticism.

2. Misunderstandings Happen: What seems like a simple correction to me can be perceived as rudeness by others, leading to social friction.

3. The Truth Isn’t Always Welcome: Despite my best intentions, I’ve faced anger and rejection for being honest, a reality that remains difficult to understand.

4. Perception Differences: My brain processes the world differently, and what I see as helpful can be misunderstood by others, contributing to feelings of isolation.

5. Balancing Act: I’m learning to navigate social interactions more carefully, but the value of truth remains central to how I engage with the world.