I Confuse YOU?

Today, I’m unpacking the persistent experience of confusion—not the occasional kind, but the type that comes with being neurodivergent in a world that often feels like it’s communicating in a way I don’t fully grasp.

For me, confusion is not a rare occurrence; it’s something I face regularly. It’s always there, making tasks that should be straightforward feel complex and overwhelming. And when I find the courage to express my confusion and ask questions to try to understand, it’s not an act of defiance or an attempt to be difficult. It’s a genuine effort to seek clarity.

I’ve learned that in many social situations, expressing confusion can sometimes be a way for people to avoid responsibilities or retreat from uncomfortable situations. This concept was new to me. In my experience, confusion is always sincere. When I say I don’t understand, I mean it. I’m not trying to avoid anything or manipulate the situation. The more focus there is on my lack of comprehension, the more intense my stress becomes, often leading to anxiety.

This is where many misunderstandings arise. When I ask a lot of questions or seem to dwell on specific details, it’s not because I’m being difficult. It’s because I genuinely don’t understand what’s being communicated to me. I’m trying to comprehend the information as clearly as possible, but without that clarity, it can quickly become overwhelming, leaving me feeling stuck and anxious.

I’ve heard stories of people deliberately making mistakes to avoid tasks in the future. This idea is hard for me to understand. For me, mistakes are not part of a strategy; they’re a source of frustration. When I’m accused of pretending to be confused or making mistakes on purpose, it feels like a direct attack on my honesty and character.

When my confusion becomes overwhelming and my questions become persistent, it’s not an attempt to challenge anyone. It’s a sign that I’m struggling and need help. Understanding this can make a significant difference in how interactions unfold. I’m not trying to cause trouble or avoid responsibility; I’m trying to gather the information I need to manage my tasks and interactions without feeling lost or overwhelmed.

When I say I’m confused, I’m reaching out, hoping to be understood. Even if you can’t help me immediately, acknowledging my confusion and letting me know that it’s valid can make a big difference. It helps to know that I’m seen and that my struggles are recognized.