Textbook Traits...

Launching AWRYTE has brought many unexpected opportunities for growth and healing. For a long time, I thought of certain traits as quirks or signs of shyness, not realizing they were early indicators of being on the autism spectrum. Reflecting on these traits now, I see how they shaped my view of the world in ways I didn’t fully grasp at the time.

Growing up, I was often labeled as "gifted," "sensitive," or "independent." These labels didn’t fully capture my experiences. People saw a quiet kid who did well in school but found social situations challenging, but the reality was more nuanced.

Group projects and social games were challenging for me. It wasn’t that I couldn’t contribute—I just found it easier and more effective to work alone, where I could focus without the unpredictability of group dynamics.

Solitude was where I felt most at ease. I valued time alone in my room, where I could explore my thoughts and creativity without the noise and expectations of social interaction. It wasn’t about avoiding others; it was about finding a space where I could be myself.

Physical sensitivities were a constant factor in my life. I often experienced discomfort, which I now understand was related to sensory processing and the stress of adapting to environments that didn’t always make sense to me.

Social gatherings, like birthday parties, were a mix of understanding their purpose and feeling out of place. I preferred smaller, more intimate settings where I could connect with others in a way that felt natural.

My eating habits were another aspect of this. I preferred the predictability of eating the same foods daily, not out of pickiness, but as a way to maintain some control in a world that could feel overwhelming.

Friendships were complicated by my need for quiet and space. This need sometimes led to misunderstandings, but it wasn’t about avoiding others—it was about taking the time to recharge.

Organization became a way to create order and predictability in my life. Arranging my belongings in a particular way helped bring a sense of calm and control.

Visual learning has always been my strength. I understood things better through images and reading, which shaped how I approached school and communication. I needed to visualize things clearly in my mind before expressing them.

Connecting with adults or younger children often felt more straightforward than relating to peers. Adult conversations were more direct, and interacting with younger children was simpler, without the layers of social expectations that I found confusing.

Looking back, I can see that these traits were not just quirks but key aspects of who I am. Understanding them through the lens of autism has helped me better understand myself in a way that I can finally embrace these traits and live authentically.

Key Takeaways:

1. Misinterpreted Labels: Childhood traits often labeled as "shyness" or "sensitivity" were early indicators of autism, reflecting deeper complexities that were misunderstood.

2. Solitude and Comfort: A preference for solitude and specific routines were ways to manage the overwhelm of sensory input and social expectations.

3. Challenges in Social Settings: Social gatherings and group activities presented significant challenges due to the unpredictability and sensory overload they brought.

4. Selective Eating and Sensory Sensitivities: Consistent eating habits and sensitivity to physical discomfort were part of managing an unpredictable world.

5. The Need for Structure: Organization and visual learning provided a sense of control and predictability in a chaotic environment.